Now I'm reading In Between Darkness and Light and I'm cursing the fact that there's no other book waiting on my shelves. After I'm finished with it I'll have to wait alongside everyone else, chomping at the bit.
I know that this isn't the end. I know it's a part of the story, but I dislike how little Kaid and Carrie play a role in this. I know it's to develop Kusac, who is changing VERY much and needs to, really, but he's moving away from Shola. He's creating a new life for himself among the Primes. Well, among Kezule's Primes. He's creating a new relationship - sure they CALL it lust, but it's so close to a Leska link it's scary. Scary as in I can see them linking and suddenly his Triad's no longer quite as important as before. He'll have a mate, one that matches him in strength, and he'll have a life out in space. There will be no need for him to return to Shola, especially since they all think he's gone rogue.
He's so... fatalistic. World isn't going my way? Destory myself. Don't like the situation? Destroy it (and myself). Pain? Kill me. It's annoying because it means that he's turning away from exactly what he needs. He's on another planet, making a new life for himself so that when he DOES meet up with his Triad and they tell him, HELLO, you STILL have a life with us he'll have to REDO everything all over again and try to find a way to mix the two lives together again. He'll find out that, no, Zayshul is NOT in ANY way Shaidan's mother. He'll find the piece of her in his son's DNA is because of the scent-marker because his other son, his NEWBORN, the one that Carrie birthed so you can't be confused about who his mother is, has the same Prime DNA.
And I totally get that Sholans aren't all that anal about fidelity. I GET that, really. But I don't really think Carrie's going to be jumping for joy to see that Kusac's gotten himself all but linked with Zayshul. Not only is she Kezule's wife, but she and Carrie are a lot a like. As a human she'd feel threatened of being replaced... hell that's Kusac's issue. He felt Kaid had replaced him totally not seeing the HUGE GAPING KUSAC SHAPED HOLE in their traid. He gives himself so little credit.
Shaidan has a life among the Primes. He's got Kezule's daughter that he's very close to, and he's got Zayshul that he sees as a mother-type figure so if he takes Shaidan home with him he's going to be pining for Zayshul and Mayza. Even IF his mother is Carrie, is it really BEST to pull him away from his established routine? He's so old, no matter his mental maturity, is it best? I'd understand if he was younger - so many years ahead of him to develop... but he's already developed. Four more years and he's sexual mature. After that he can pretty much do whatever the hell he wants to...
I'm only halfway through this book and I know right now he's not going home yet. That'll be for another book. He won't find about his son, he's already not thinking of his family - he didn't realize his daughter's birthday had passed until someone else reminded him. He rarely thinks about Kaid or Carrie and if he does it's fleeting. It's like he's cut off a limb and doing his best to forget he had that limb in the first place. It's frustrating.
I like Zayshul. I honestly do. I like Kezule. I like them together - he needs her to be his other half, to change him so he becomes the best he can possibly be, round him out. If she's stuck to Kusac's side like she's been for the majority of this book that's not going to happen. You can only lie for so long. He's going to find out. He's going to be absolutely DEVISTATED when he finds out. It's going to endanger not only their amiable truce, but Kusac. He blames so much on Kusac - he's slowly starting to come around only to have something this large happen behind his back. EVERYONE can see it's a bad idea. EVERYONE knows the shit is going to hit the fan. I'm wincing in anticipation. I just hope it doesn't stunt Kezule's growth into that well rounded Valtegan.
I think that if Carrie were to get to know Zayshul they'd get along smashingly. But circumstances are such that when they meet they'll clash. Zayshul has what Carrie's been mourning for so long people around her can't help but notice. Zayshul doesn't even really WANT it in the first place. She's not fighting it anymore, but they are developing a relationship, something that could easily become permanent. If Kusac were to let their minds touch instead of thrusting her mind aside what would happen? I'm scared.
I understand that this story is so much better for all of this, but I still want my happily ever after. I can stomach all of this angst and drama as long as I know in the end it'll all work out... but at this very moment in time I'm not so sure. That might be Lisanne Norman's intent. And kudos for her becuase she's succeeding.
I want Carrie to know about Shidan. I want Kusac to know about Dhaykin. I want Kusac to look at his own altered DNA and see that he's 'part' Prime too, dammit! Rar!
And I must be the hugest fangirl saying this but MORE Kusac/Kaid, dangit!
posted by Icegaze at 8:53 AM
